Saturday 5 September 2015

What? Marriage!! There is a lot more to think about!!


Ok lemme start with saying that I am loving writing with Penzu.com. It is awesome I guess. The Journal gives me a feeling of my own personalised diary where I just have to make my keypad get turned into  a pen and my laptop as  notebook. Yes I have met with my perfect mate in writing few days back and that's penzu.com. 

I just heard that my relatives are too excited to know when they are going to listen my wedding bells. 


Image result for sarcastic images of relatives talking about marriage

What? did you just say "Marriage"??


I don't understand this pathetic universal truth as why are outsiders so worried about the inside story? I mean everybody knows what happens after marriage.Yes I do believe every coin has two faces but then they will be the ones who will be much more interested to make fun about the other side of the coin. They will be the ones giving numbers of so called self proclaimed babajis to know what is wrong inside the marriages and would certainly suggest your parents to just go and meet them once. And trust me that one meeting will turn into number of meetings until they find a solution to that. They would just not understand the one bitter truth of life that at the end of the day it is all about time which changes!! Yes I do understand that parents are always worried about their children but I don't understand what is the point of letting your neighbours, your father's uncle's aunt's so called brother in law worry about this?

I know the typical answer is when the children grow up and get settled down in their respective careers, they also need to get settled down into a personal life and for that getting married is what is required. Well I again don't understand that does "settling down" actually means marriage? I feel getting married is like again  throwing yourself for another two to three years into the same world of getting settled. Yes that's true. I have seen couples struggling for getting settled down after marriage. Then how does this word getting settled down actually fits with getting settled down in a marriage and that too with an unknown person whom you even can't predict at the initial stage. How does spending lakhs and crores of rupees in just letting people know someone is getting married  guarantee a perfect life or a settled life?

My idea of getting married is a little bit different. I think a guy or girl needs to literally get tired of what he or she loves to do in the initial years of his or her career or what they have dreamt of doing when  they were just studying and dreaming of getting their dream job. They might have dreamt of going for a perfect holiday with their friends with their first salary or they might be having plans of buying an apartment for their parents or anything else.   Let them just fulfil their  dreams because a dream is not just about getting what you wanted desperately. It is about living with what you wanted desperately. Let them spend their money and time in doing what they always wanted to do. Set them free for sometime, atleast for the sake of letting them know that you only live once and life is not just about making the ends meet. There is much more between those two ends. There is a life to live in between those two ends and you gotta grab that life with both of your hands and fill your packets with the opportunities you get in between. Opportunity to live life to the fullest, opportunity to make people happy, opportunity to feel happy and satisfied. Just lots and lots of opportunities. 

Moreover when it comes to marriage how can one even think about that idea of a " five to thirty minutes" of meeting and taking the life time decision. Marriage is a life time decision and taking the decision only on the basis of  birth- charts and by just trusting on some self- proclaimed learned people of the society, is it worth calling a marriage or is it going to be just a deal ? An agreement and some arrangements to announce the procedure of making the grown-ups "settled down" after spending lakhs of rupees and making the pockets of wedding planners heavy in just one day and few hours. 

I just have few questions to ask from everybody, I mean from all the parents and especially my dooor ke well-wishers, can't you just allow us to atleast come out from the shell and see the world before making this big decision? Can you please allow us to be mature enough to atleast decide what kind of partner we need and we think we will be able to settle down with? Can you please let us think after that five to thirty minuteof meeting and decide whether we need few more five to thirty minutes? And above all please give yourself some time to sit and relax. Free yourself from your responsibilities and think that life is much more beyond just finishing off the remaining work and then go to char-dham ki yatra. It's about enjoying that free time with your children and feeling proud on what your children have achieved after those years of hard-work. It is about making your children understand how to choose a perfect life partner and then let them decide because at the end they have to life their part of lives and face the after effects of that one minute of yes or no. Yes family plays a big role in this decision but I am just asking all the worried parents to just settle down in their process of finishing their responsibilities and let their children grow mature enough to embrace a new relationship. 

We all need to get settled down in our respective lives but this is really important to define and decide  what we actually mean by getting settled down. Is it just getting a better paid job, a better home to live and a partner to live with? I feel it is much more beyond that. For me settling down starts when I start fulfilling my childhood dreams one by one after I became capable of achieving or just doing the. Like visiting a new place once in every month after I get my salary, watching a new movie every week when I don't have tensions of my exams. taking my family out for dinner and paying for them, taking out time to write and express without any worries, taking out time to plan a party with friends or buy a gift for my loved ones and living life to the fullest. Life is much more than just getting settled down. It is about not settling down , it is about flying high and higher with your feet on the ground. Marry when you actually want to. Marry when you actually start dreaming a life with a partner , a perfect partner. Don't marry because it is just a part of the so called procedure of "settling down" into your respective lives. 

I always feel life is too short to do big things, do it now and that's why I decided to write my first book on love and relationship.



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